My Unattainable
by MrsJacobBlack1988
Summary: Why would I run from Edward, the love of my life? It just didn't make sense.' A Jacob/Bella story. Alternative to New Moon. ***ON HOLD***
1. Chapter 1

My Unattainable

_A/N:__ This story starts five days before 'New Moon' begins, and follows a different plot, although I've included a few key events from the book later on in the story, they were kind of hard to ignore. This does start as Edward/Bella, but is totally a Jacob/Bella story, I promise! Hope you enjoy!_

Chapter One (Bella's POV)

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I just make them jump through hoops for my own amusement.

_----_

_I ran through the forest, terrified and alone. I strained my ears for anything that sounded familiar, but the only thing I could hear was the sloshing of wet mud and bracken under my feet, amplified by the sheer silence resonating through the trees. The wind blew inaudibly, making me shiver uncontrollably. I called out in desperation, but my voice was swallowed up into the air as soon as it left my throat. I panicked, stumbled and tripped. I landed on my hands and knees in the dirt. I gasped, trying not to hyperventilate as I stood up shakily, brushing the worst of the mud off my jeans. I looked up, and to my surprise, I saw a familiar figure in front of me: tall, pale and sparkling in the sunlight that filtered through the trees. His beautiful topaz eyes were warm and full of affection as he offered me his hand._

_Every inclination in my conscious mind wanted to reach out and take his hand. I could almost feel it already: cold marble against my palm. But I didn't reach out. I don't know why. I turned on my heels and ran back the way I'd come, as fast as I safely could. It was futile, really. I knew I could ever outrun him. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I tried to work out why I would want to run from him in the first place. It took me several minutes to realise that I was still searching. My pace picked up as I headed deeper into the forest, calling with silent lips for something... someone..._

I sat bolt upright in bed, my hair falling over my face, sticking to my sweat-drenched skin. I ran a hand over my eyes, and automatically looked over to my window. I hadn't bothered to close the curtains last night, and now they stood unashamedly framing the brilliance of the moon in the night sky. I shuddered, and wrapped my covers closer around myself. I huddled down into my pillows, and shut my eyes tight, wishing away the memory of the disturbing dream. Why would I run from Edward, the love of my life? It just didn't make sense.

The dim light of early morning fell on my face and woke me up a few hours later. I sighed, and looked blankly at the empty rocking chair in the corner. That's where he'd usually be right then, watching me sleep, waiting for me to wake up. Too bad nature and necessity had to intervene every now and again. Emmett and the mountain lions would be keeping him company until tomorrow.

I dragged myself from my warm bed and trudged across to the bathroom. Charlie had plans to spend the day fishing, and I knew without looking at the clock that he'd already be gone. When I got downstairs I happened to glance at the calendar, and I groaned. Five days until my birthday. I hated the fact that Charlie had written it on the calendar in the first place. In red ink. How appropriate. I sat down with a glass of milk and pondered my dream. I thought I'd be able to rationalise it now I was fully awake. The memory didn't fade, like normal dreams; it stayed vivid and potent in my mind. All I could focus on was the fact that I was looking for something, and it wasn't Edward. How could that be? How could there be more? There was nothing more in my life.

That thought surprised me. I'd known since I met him that he was going to be the most important thing to me, and he really was. But the _only _thing? I surprised myself by pondering the thought. I was searching for something. Something unattainable. But what could have made me so panicky and desperate to find... whatever it was... when Edward stood right in front of me? He completed me.

I wished he was there, in the kitchen with me. I looked across at his chair, and squinted my eyes, trying to make out his outline from thin air. But all I could see were dust particles dancing in the thin beams of dull light. I shook myself, trying to pull myself together.

A sudden knock at the door interrupted my moment of mental instability. I headed to the door, my footsteps ringing shrilly in my ears, and opened it to find Alice stood on the porch, her face beautiful as ever but creased with worry and... something resembling confusion.

"Alice, hi," I greeted carefully, watching her expression.

I noticed that she didn't meet my eye as she answered.

"Hello, Bella." Her sing-song voice carried an edge of hurt or pain, and I flinched away from the unsettling tone.

"What's wrong?" My heart stopped and my eyes widened as a thought dawned on me. "Is it Edward? Is he okay? What's happened?"

Alice reached out her dainty hand to touch my arm comfortingly. "Edward's fine," she informed me.

I let out a sigh of relief, and my heart started working again. Overtime. Something really was bothering her.

She stood there with her hands wrapped in her sleeves, actually _fidgeting_.

"Come inside," I offered, taking a step back.

She hesitated, before slipping through the doorway and sitting herself noiselessly on the sofa. I went to sit next to her, and the springs creaked a little under me. I waited patiently until her eyes stopped flickering around the room and eventually settled on her lap.

"Bella, if you were going to do something... major... you would tell me, wouldn't you?"

I mulled over her choice of words. "Major?"

"You know, something really... different."

I looked at her blankly. "You're going to have to give me a bit more than that, Alice."

She said nothing.

I thought.

"I bought a new shampoo, mango instead of strawberry; does that count?" I asked, trying feebly to lighten the suddenly tense atmosphere.

Alice tried to smile, but quickly gave up.

I tried to fathom this new behaviour. "What have you seen, Alice? What happens?"

She shook her head quickly. "I don't... I'm not..."

She was really starting to worry me. She was never this uncertain, detached. It scared me.

She took a deep breath, and finally managed to look up at me.

"Bella, I'm going to ask you to promise something, and please don't be offended."

"Okay..." I answered carefully.

I waited.

"Alice?"

She spoke so quickly her lips were a blur, and I had to focus to understand her words.

"Promise you won't hurt him."

I panicked at her words. "Alice, please tell me what you've seen."

"Promise me," she insisted quietly.

"I promise," I whispered.

Alice's demeanour suddenly changed, and she was back to her usual, happy face, all signs of worry ironed from her forehead.

"Thank you," she said sincerely.

She stood up, and in a blur of excuses she was gone before I could move an inch. I blinked.

What was all that about?

Before I could start to worry over her, the phone rang. I jumped up eagerly to the distraction, and picked up the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Bella." The last voice I'd expected to hear.

"Jacob?"

----

_A/N: Strange introduction, I know, but bear with me, it'll get better. The next chapter will be from Jacob's POV. Please leave a review!_

_Thanks for reading._

_MrsJacobBlack1988. _


	2. Chapter 2

My Unattainable

_A/N:__ My thanks to Harleygreen and Zoey24 for reviewing the first chapter, and thanks to everyone who added this to favourites/story alert. Hope you enjoy chapter two._

_Disclaimer:__ I own nothing._

Chapter Two (Jacob's POV)

"_Jacob?"_

There was a strange note in her voice that I couldn't quite pinpoint.

"Bella, are you okay?"

"_Um... yeah, why?"_

I hesitated. "No, it's just, you sound a bit... never mind. Are you busy?"

"_Nope. Free _all_ weekend,"_ she grumbled.

I couldn't help a grin spreading across my face. "Great. Can you come up here? I've got something for you."

She paused._ "Really? What is it?"_ she asked warily.

I found myself chuckling a little. "You'll have to wait and see. Can you remember how to get here?"

"_Sort of..."_

----

I waited impatiently at the front of the house, waiting for the sound of her truck. I had to admit I was a little nervous. I hadn't seen her since the night of the prom. I thought, with all the tales from my Dad, she would have avoided me at all costs. I glanced down at the messily-wrapped parcel on the table, and took a deep breath.

The roar of the truck erupted through the trees and moments later the red monstrosity appeared round the corner, and came to a stop on the edge of the road. Bella got out and headed for the house, stumbling a little on nothing. I felt a smile spread unconsciously across my face. It soon faded when I saw her troubled expression.

"What's wrong?"

She looked up at me and her eyes widened. "Have you grown?"

I just nodded, feeling the smile returning. "Are you okay?"

She looked like she was going to insist she was, but thought better of it and shook her head. "I don't think so."

I pulled the door closed behind me and gestured in the direction of the cliffs. "Do you wanna go for a walk?"

She nodded, a small smile attempting to light up her face.

We walked along the cliffs in silence, the crashing ocean loud enough to make the silence slightly uncomfortable. As she didn't offer to enlighten me, I spoke up.

"What is it, Bella?" My thoughts flickered to Edward, and my face creased in a frown. "Is it Charlie... or... someone else?"  
She gave me a strange look, and I immediately felt a little guilty for prying; after all, we hadn't really spoken for months. But she gave an exaggerated sigh, and decided to confide.

"I don't think it's anyone. I think it's me."

I didn't understand. "Sorry?"

She abruptly sat down on the damp ground, and stared down at the beach. I sat uneasily beside her, and couldn't help watching her hair blowing in the breeze. She looked over at me, and leaned back a little, squinting her eyes.

"I really can't believe how much you've grown, Jake," she said, grinning, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Yeah, and you're still tiny!" I rumpled her hair and laughed at her half-hearted pout.

She toyed with the grass absent-mindedly as she gazed out at the horizon. I watched her carefully.

"Shouldn't you be with Edw-"

"-He's away."

"Oh."

Silence.

"Where?"

"What?"

"Where's he gone?"

"Um... hiking. Somewhere up north."

I nodded, guessing I wouldn't be told anything more. Edward and his family seemed to spend a lot of time hiking up north. It surprised me that Bella didn't go with them, considering how tight she and Edward were. Were _supposed_ to be...

A thought passed through my mind, and I grinned involuntarily. "So you thought you'd come see me while he's gone?" I waggled my eyebrows at her, trying to make her laugh.

She shoved my arm playfully. "I haven't seen you in ages..." she said eventually. I had the feeling that that wasn't the whole reason.

"So... you sounded pretty upset earlier. What's up?"

She hesitated again, and looked up at me.

"I just feel strange."

She bit her lip – I couldn't help noticing how inviting those lips were – and glanced down.

"Strange?" I encouraged her to continue.

She nodded. "Yeah, it's like..." she sighed, obviously frustrated. "I don't know what it's like. Like I'm... looking for something."

I frowned. "I thought you had everything you wanted with Edward."

"I do, I think."

Her uncharacteristic uncertainty surprised me. "You think? Bella, you know, if you're not happy with him, you should-"

"-No, no, no," she rushed. "I _am_ happy."

I scrutinised her face. "You don't look happy."

She looked at me from the corner of her eye, looking torn. She sighed, and turned a little to face me better.

"Say someone... went to a psychic, or something like that, and they gave that person the impression that they were going to do something really stupid sometime soon..." she paused, "something to hurt someone they loved," she added quietly. "What advice would you give them?"

I tried to fight a smile spreading across my face at her cryptic babbling. "You went to see a psychic?" I asked sceptically.

I got another playful shove. "I didn't say it was me!"

I chuckled at her denial. "Okay, so this someone... went to a fortune teller to find out about their future." I paused, rethinking her statement. "You know, sometimes you hurt the people you love the most. It doesn't mean you're a bad person, it just means you're human."

She almost laughed at the word 'human,' but I didn't ask why. We sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Bella, if it's something so important, why are you talking about it with _me_?"

She looked at me with surprise. "You asked me to come here, remember?"

I grinned. "Oh yeah, right."

"And anyway," she continued, standing up wobbly and brushing off her jeans, "you are important. I've known you longer than anyone else here, and you're... easy to talk to, Jacob."

I couldn't help the little shiver that sped through me when she said my name. I nodded, jumped up from the ground, and we headed back to the house.

The mist that had threatened to thicken all morning had eventually turned to rain, and she tucked herself into her raincoat, her face almost hidden in her coat. I laughed. I wasn't even chilly. The cold and rain never seemed to bother me lately, for some reason...

Bella came to a sudden stop, staring down at the beach. Three tall figures were stood on the sea of pebbles, staring out at the ocean.

"Who are they?" she asked.

I wished she hadn't asked. "Oh, that's Sam Uley, and Jared and Paul."

She looked like she expected me to say more. I sighed. "They're... weird. Sam walks around here like he owns the place. He and his... _gang_... are all about protecting our land, and tribe pride, and stuff. The elders agree with him, too. It's... not normal..."

I shivered, but it had nothing to do with the weather. I hated the way Sam acted. Those guys had been treating me strange lately, and I wasn't the only one to notice. They'd been giving my friends Embry and Quil the same treatment. It was unsettling. It made me angry.

"So, what's all this about, then?" Bella asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

I grinned, remembering the reason I'd dragged her up here in the first place. "Come on." I hesitated very briefly, before grabbing her hand, and leading her faster towards the house, trying to get her out of the rain. I loved the feel of her hand in mine, and I loved the fact that she didn't pull away.

We eventually got to the house and I took Bella's coat. She ran her hands over her hair in a very distracting way. She looked at me with wary eyes. I grabbed her gift from the table and held it out for her. She took it gingerly.

"You know I don't like presents usually..."

I cringed a little. "I know, but I thought, just for once..."

I smiled my most convincing smile, and she smiled back. She pulled off the wrapping carefully and scrutinized the box underneath.

"A radio?"

I grinned wider at her puzzled reaction. "I know that one in the truck's gotta be just about finished now."

She looked astonished. "How did you know that?"

"I'm brilliant," I said smugly.

"Thank you, Jacob," she said simply.

I took the box from her arms and headed out to her truck.

"Besides," I replied quietly, "It's your birthday soon. I know you hate people making a fuss..."

She didn't seem to notice at first. Her small smile was the only sign she'd heard me.

----

_A/N:__ Hope you like. I thought I'd get Jacob to get her a radio, because I want to inconvenience Edward later ^_^ evil thing that I am, hehe._

_Please take a moment to leave a review._

_Thanks for reading_

_MrsJacobBlack1988_


	3. Chapter 3

My Unattainable

_A/N: My thanks once again to everyone who has reviewed, I love you all! Thanks also to everyone who added this to favourites/ story alert. Enjoy chapter three._

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

Chapter Three (Bella's POV)

I sat in the middle of the pale sofa in the pale house, a mortal between two vampires. Alice sat on my left and Esme sat on my right, both of them cooing over their recent purchases. Rosalie, of course, was nowhere to be seen, Jasper had fled as soon as he'd heard the word 'shopping,' and Carlisle was busy at the hospital. I tried to hide my grimace as Alice held up several rather daring items that were meant for me. I had watched her carefully the whole day, and, although she must have been aware of it, she said nothing. She seemed her usual excitable self, all solemnity from the previous day a distant memory. That made me feel worse than if she had retained her anxious mood: at least then I might have been able to easily question her about it. Now, when she was smiling at me with enthusiasm, it was going to be hard to bring up the topic again.

Esme quickly stood up, as graceful as ever, and took her shopping bags upstairs to her room. Alice smoothed her hands over her favourite new dress, a scarlet affair with black lace. I had to admit it was beautiful, but hardly practical for Forks. She turned a little to face me, and must have caught my thoughtful expression. She gave me an empathetic smile.

"He'll be back tomorrow."

I bit my lip, and nodded. As always, I was missing Edward terribly. But part of me was panicking. I didn't want to see him until I figured out Alice's cryptic visit yesterday, and the meaning of my dream. I'd had the same dream again last night. I had once again fled from my beloved Edward, and continued my frantic search for something unattainable. I'd woken in another bizarre panic.

Alice left her clothes on the sofa, and glided over to the wall of glass to look out over the sea of ferns and hemlock trees. I edged over to her.

"Alice?"

"Hmm?" She didn't turn to look at me.

I hesitated. "Please tell me what you meant yesterday."

She visibly froze, turning to marble against the glass.

"It was nothing, Bella. Just forget about it." She sounded slightly sulky again.

I sighed impatiently, and stepped over to her, carefully putting my hand on her petite shoulder.

"Alice, what did you see? If I'm going to hurt him, I want to know, so I can avoid it."

After a quiet moment, she turned to look at me, smiling feebly.

"You know it doesn't work like that, Bella."

"But," I insisted, "I don't _want_ to hurt him. You have to know that, Alice."

She smiled wider at me, but her tiny jaw was set. "I know."

She stared intently at me, and I almost blushed under her topaz gaze.

Alice suddenly looked towards the front door, her intense features melting into natural, affectionate happiness. A moment later, Jasper appeared in the doorway. He smiled politely at me.

"Bella." His gaze immediately fell to Alice, and, in some subtle signal I missed, signalled her to join him.

Alice grinned at me, the heavy atmosphere lifting immediately. "I'll see you later." She danced over to her love, never taking her eyes from his as they disappeared out the door. I blinked, suddenly feeling very alone.

I made my way through to the kitchen, and took a bottle of water from the fridge. Esme always made sure there was plenty of food and drink in the house for me. I sighed, suddenly feeling very ill at ease in the big, empty house. My mind fought against the problems I needed to solve; part of me wanted to know the answers, part of me was terrified of what they would be. As if on cue, Esme floated into the room, wearing a warm smile. I tried to smile back, but I felt my lips quiver. She didn't mention it, but sat down at the large kitchen table. I sat opposite her, my fingers tracing the condensation on my bottle of water.

"Is everything alright, dear?" she asked, her genuine concern radiating through her voice.

"I... I don't know," I answered truthfully. I looked up at her, but she was waiting for me to say more. "Has... Alice... said anything to you? About me?"

Esme shook her head, her caramel hair falling down over her shoulders like a waterfall. "She hasn't said much these last couple of days. I think she's been a little distracted, but she won't tell me why. I can't help worrying about her, sometimes."

I nodded glumly, my own ideas about the reason for Alice's distraction wreaking havoc in my mind.

"I hope she's okay," I said weakly, trying to hide my worries.

"She will be; she'll be as right as rain when she gets back."

Those words stood out like they'd been written in neon lights. "'Gets back'?"

"Yes, she and Jasper are going away for a few days, didn't she tell you?"

I shook my head.

"It's sort of their anniversary."

I'm sure my eyes bulged. "Oh, why didn't she tell me?!"

Esme smiled, leaning forward consiprationally. "They like to keep their relationship private. And besides, she's been spending all her free time planning your birthday party."

I groaned at the news. "I told her not to make a big deal of it." I wasn't ready to face my birthday yet, and the idea sent a shiver through my spine. One year older, while _he _remained frozen...

----

I eventually reached my house, the journey home taking twice the normal time because of the heavy rain. I rushed inside, and found a note scrawled next to the telephone.

'Gone to Billy's for dinner, there's a match. Come up when you get this, I think Jacob wants to see you.'

I smiled involuntarily. I liked the thought of seeing Jacob again, and, although a 'match' of some sport or other didn't really appeal, neither did spending the evening alone. So I headed straight back out to my truck again, and started off to La Push.

----

I made it to the Blacks' house without swerving in the rain, something I was particularly proud of. The new radio was working perfectly, and made the journey enjoyable despite the weather. I silenced the truck and rushed up to the little red house, my enthusiasm inexplicable. Why was I suddenly so excited to be here? It didn't make sense.

Jacob greeted me at the door, his smile shining through the rain like a beacon. I couldn't help but smile back. His happiness was infectious.

"Hey, I'm glad you made it!"

I shrugged out of my coat and beamed up at him. "Well, I wouldn't miss the opportunity. For some reason, you're quickly becoming one of my favourite people around here." I clamped my mouth shut. The truth flowed too easily when I was around him.

His grin widened. "All early birthday presents aside, of course."

"Of course."

Dinner was fun. From what I could gather, Charlie hadn't been seeing a lot of Billy lately, and the meal seemed to rekindle their old friendship. I was glad; my Dad needed to spend more time with friends. After dinner they settled down in the front room in front of the TV. Jacob nudged my arm, and I followed him out of the house. The rain had died down, so we made our way to the beach, sauntering along slowly to allow for my short stride. Jacob flung pebbles into the ocean, landing far out in the water, looking like tiny grains of sand in the distance. I tried to copy, but of course mine barely made it past the waves, and I almost fell in, saved at last minute by Jacob's sharp reflexes.

We made our way to 'our' driftwood spot, and sat down on the damp branches. The sun was starting to set somewhere behind the clouds, though it didn't shine through. I had to squint to make out his face through the twilight.

A brief lapse in conversation left my mind to wander back to my worries over Alice's vision. Jacob seemed to realise where my thoughts were.

"When is Edward coming back?"

"Tomorrow," I replied quietly.

"You miss him." It was a statement, not a question.

I nodded. "Yeah. But I've enjoyed coming over here this weekend."

Jacob beamed. "Well, come up more often. I'll be able to get down to see you when I get my Rabbit finished." He'd shown me his beloved project the day before, after fitting my radio.

I thought suddenly about how Edward would feel about that. Jacob was harmless, but Billy seemed to know so much about the Cullens...

"Maybe," I answered in what I hoped was a positive tone.

----

That night, I tossed and turned in my bed.

I was running through the forests again, running from Edward as he held out his hand to me. I ran and ran, looking – searching – for something. And I saw someone stood in the middle of the trees, stood with their back to me. My heart lifted like I had found a piece to the puzzle. Whoever it was stood tall and dark, strong and safe.

And whoever it was looked a lot like Jacob Black.

----

_A/N: Hope you enjoyed chapter three. Please leave a review._

_Look out for chapter four, when Jacob starts to wonder what is happening to him, and why he's always so hot..._

_Thanks for reading!_

_MrsJacobBlack1988_


	4. Chapter 4

My Unattainable

_A/N: My thanks once again to everyone who has reviewed. Thanks also to everyone who added this to favourites/ story alert. Enjoy chapter four._

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

Chapter Four (Jacob's POV)

I paced back and forth on the beach, trying to shake off the unbearable heat. I looked up at the sky. It was closed in with grey clouds, and the drizzle that fell down was icy against my skin, but I still felt like I was burning up. I'd given up attempting to wear a shirt; it was far too uncomfortable. I ran my hand over the back of my neck, expecting to find myself sweating, but there was no moisture except the rain. I felt my skin tingle like I was being watched, and sure enough, when I turned I saw Sam Uley watching me from further down the beach. I groaned, and kicked at the pebbles angrily. He was the last person I wanted to see. It was bad enough that he'd suddenly caught Embry up in his gang. He was_ not_ going to do the same to me.

Quicker than I thought humanly possible, he was right next to me, but a few feet away, as if keeping a safe distance. I felt some sort of growl rumble deep in my throat; the noise surprised me.

"Jacob," Sam said calmly.

"What do you want, Sam?" I asked in a gruff tone.

He paused for a moment. "How are you feeling?" he asked, ignoring my own question.

I snorted, the irony lost in my all-too-real panic. "How do I _feel_? Apart from the fact that you brainwashed one of my best friends? I feel _awful_, Sam. I'm burning up. I feel like I'm gonna explode!"

A wave of emotion flickered over his poker face – pity? Empathy? He reached out his arm as if to comfort me, but I recoiled automatically, stumbling and almost falling on the pebbles.

"Stay away from me."

I turned and stalked up the beach, away from Sam. When I could barely see him in the distance, I headed to the water's edge and let the icy water seep through my shoes to my hot skin. It wasn't nearly cold enough. I stepped deeper into the water, rational thought at the back of my head screaming at me, telling me that this was insane. When the water was up to my waist, I bobbed down, crouching against the gritty sea floor, the water lapping around my neck and shoulders. I didn't even shudder. I would have laughed at myself if I weren't so terrified. My skin was still burning despite the onslaught of cold, salty water. What was happening to me?

Time passed, and I was still in the water. Clouds moved, and Sam left the beach. The rain closed in and ruined my hair. And I knew I shouldn't have been able to feel my arms and legs by now, but there they were, still burning away with the invisible fire under my skin. The heat was starting to change: it no longer felt icy cold when I took a breath. It was like my body was readjusting it's normal temperature, finally accepting that this was right, while my mind, muscles and reflexes were fighting furiously against it.

It was getting dark by the time I dragged myself from the ocean. Reason told me I should at least have cramp, but there was nothing but the heat. My muscles throbbed from the burning rather than the cold, as I pulled myself up to the cliff top and headed for home. I was in sight of my familiar, little red house when my vision started to blur. I quickened my pace, desperate now to be inside, away from the onslaught of the elements. I crashed through the door, rummaged through a kitchen drawer until I found an old thermometer, and almost fell into my room onto my bed. I stuck the thermometer under my tongue and put a pillow over my eyes, trying in vain to cool down. A moment later, my Dad came into my room, watching me silently from the doorway.

"What's wrong, Jacob?" he asked quietly, with a knowing tone in his voice, his eyes sad as he watched me suffer.

"Too hot," I managed to mumble. My hand was shaking as I pulled the thermometer from my mouth, and tried to focus on the reading. 104. My eyes boggled. That couldn't be right. I threw it down on the bedside cabinet and buried my face in the cool sheets. I groaned.

"You'll be alright, son," my Dad murmured. "Eventually."

I didn't hear him leave, but I heard him pick up the phone when it rang a few moments later.

"Bella... no... yes, he's here, but... no, he's not well, he can't come to the phone... sure, sure, I'll tell him. Bye."

My heart lurched as I heard Bella's name: she must have been worried. I vaguely remembered I was supposed to call her earlier, but I was in no state to socialise. I could barely see. With Bella's worried face etched into my mind, I fell into a light and troubled slumber.

I dreamed. Bizarre dreams. I dreamt of the cliff tops, the forest, and all the places round La Push where I used to hide and play as a kid. They seemed strangely homely in these dreams, and I almost felt protective of the reservation. I saw the forest more than once, the familiar bracken and foliage disappearing behind me at an immeasurable speed – I must have been running. I saw the troubled face of my good friend, Quill, and my Dad, no longer in his wheelchair, strong and young and a born leader. I saw Sam, and Jared and Paul, their gang separate from the rest of the images, and with them my former friend, Embry. To my surprise, I saw another face beside his, and found myself staring into my own eyes with terror, as my dream persona joined Uley and his followers.

A sudden howling woke me from my confusing dreams, although whether the sound was real or conjured from my subconscious I couldn't be certain. I looked at the clock, and, although my vision seemed a little better, I had to squint, as the room had gone dark, the only light coming from the silver moon through the window. The clock said 03.20. I took a deep breath, my mouth feeling grotesque from lack of fluids, and reached for the thermometer again. 108. _Woah!_

"Dad!" I called, not caring that it was the middle of the night.

It took him a few minutes to appear, by which time I was shaking with panic.

"Jacob," he said, not sounding groggy at all. I wondered briefly if he had been asleep at all.

"I've gotta get to the hospital. 108! My temperature is 108! It's impossible...!"

I could barely speak, I was shaking so much. Tremors shook through my whole body, and I could feel my muscles rippling underneath my skin.

My Dad calmly shook his head, a sad, resigned look embedded on his face.

"You don't need to see a doctor, Jake. But maybe we'd better get you outside..."

I shook my head angrily. He wasn't making sense. Why would I need to go outside in the pitch black, when I was shaking so hard my teeth were rattling in my skull? I had never felt so terrified in my life. Suddenly, my bedroom, the whole house, seemed very small, and I barged past my Dad and burst out of the front door, gasping for air as my lungs shuddered along with the rest of my body. I dropped to the floor, my legs unable to support me.

"Dad!" I called feebly, my voice barely recognisable even to myself.

I took another breath of air, which felt like boiling water being poured into my chest.

And I exploded.

----

_A/N: A little short, I know, but I put a lot of effort into this chapter. I tried to imagine what it must feel like for poor Jacob, I felt so sorry for him!_

_Anyway, hope you enjoyed, please let me know what you think._

_Look out for chapter five, when Edward returns._

_Thanks for reading_

_MrsJacobBlack1988_


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